Does everyone in roller derby get that feeling?
I'm a known member of what I'll call the Over-Committed Committee. When I fell in love with roller derby, it was head over heels. There was no getting-to-know-you period, I went straight to bed with roller derby, and then never got out of that bed.
I meet new members of the Committee everywhere I go. The one crazy ass skater who HAS to be at every event and MUST watch every bout she can get to, and WOULD DIE if the internet grid system were to ever go out and prevent her from keeping up with what's going on in roller derby all over the world!
Yah, I see you OCC members... I know you from the minute I walk in the room!
As a founding member of the OCC, I acknowledge that my meter might be broken, in terms of gauging how the average member of the I Have Other Things I Do In Life Committee feels about roller derby.
So, I could be wrong in this. But I'm assuming that we all feel this same sense of roller derby mortality. That there's only a finite amount of time we can be involved, which grows an undercurrent of urgency, doesn't it? Like, it all has to happen RIGHT NOW, or it will never happen, ever!
I believe it's this urgency that makes brand new skaters throw child-like temper tantrums about getting onto teams, has OCC members taking on 14 other committee jobs at a time, and sends injured skaters back into games before they're fully healed.
We're all so concerned with the passing of time, aren't we?
It's either "I'm too old, there's not much time left" or "I have to move on to having kids so there's not much time left," or "My partner is about to leave me if I don't leave roller derby so there's not much time left." Or something. Are there any skaters out there who *don't* feel this urgency? Those are the truly wise ones.
Let me tell you something that I can't emphasize enough how much it has helped me go another 4 years after I had my first roller derby melt down, due to this weird roller derby urgency vibe:
Take your time, and think long term.
Often, there's more time than you think! You're actually the one who's defining these terms of time, age, maturity, etc... And if you decide you want to adjust those life settings, there's always a way to do that. Often with one, honest conversation!
But even if there wasn't, and now is truly all you have... Try to really take in the savoring of this experience over the white-rabbit-rush of an experience. Relax a little. And then, once you figure that out, tell me how! xoxo