Sunday, September 22, 2013

Be A Real Alpha

Last night was my last bout as a San Diego Derby Doll. Not sure if/when I'll ever play the game again, last time I "retired" it turned out to be temporary.

Anyways, whether I'm gonna pull a Jay Z and come back every time I retire or not, feels like a good time to impart some wisdom, so here's some of my favorite observations over the years:

1) Most seem to find roller derby in transitional periods. It's weird and wild and seems like everyone who ever needed to step out of their comfort zone (or never knew how to live in one to begin with) found this controlled chaos at just the right time. We ruin our bodies to save our souls, and for some reason that makes perfect sense.

2) There's much more heartbreak here than anyone ever expects. Many start out excited about the prospect of a good time, and flee the scene the first time they get their heart broken. Or the second time. Or, if you're especially masochistic like me, after 10 full years. But, if you have end goals to strive for and can keep your smile throughout, there's good reasons to power through all that. Especially if your goals are intangible things like self-confidence, leadership skills, and physical prowess. Stay until you get what you came for.

3) There's a huge misunderstanding of power in our culture. I'm the type of alpha that enjoys the company of other alphas. As many as I can get around. I love powerful people. But a lot of totally insecure alphas think the only way to be HBIC is to "shank the biggest kid on the playground." (One skater actually told me her mom taught her that... Guh...)

A real alpha knows that their personal power is not diminished by the presence of other alphas. It's increased. But you can't benefit from that which you shank... So... There's that.

4) There's two stories playing out simultaneously at all times in derby: a total shit show, and the most inspiring story ever told. It's a lot of people who don't honestly know what we're doing, all trying to figure this out as we go along. So it's just as much shit show as it is inspirational-tale-that-we'll-all-brag-about-when-we're-old. (That's the inherent beauty/chaos of creation.) Which side you choose to focus on will determine the quality of your experience.

5) This is a very temporary experience. Even if you manage to stretch it out for 10 years... It goes by in a blink. Get everything you can out of it and treat everyone exactly as you want to be remembered. Because for many... This will be the most exciting thing we ever experience in our lives.

And lastly... I'd like to share some quotes that I've always tried to live by, from a woman well worth admiring (if you don't already). And you can decide if this a post about just derby or applies to everything else in life as well... xoxo



  1. You have had a huge impact on this amazing sport and paved the way for future passionate skaters. I am so proud to have known you, spent time with you and shared a track with you. You are a true inspiration in every sense of the word Bonnie.

    Your forever grateful fan <3

    Mandy Warhol #28

  2. Sending appreciation your way. I went to a bootcamp of yours in Paducah, Kentucky a few years back. It was the first boot camp I ever attended, and 1) it got me more comfortable messing around on skates and being able to skate in all directions, and 2) it lit a fire under me to really improve my footwork and get better at the sport. Thanks for everything you've done and all the many ways you continue to influence the sport.

  3. I wish I could have been there to see your last bout my friend....I truly hope you stayed until you "got what you came for".....much derby love from one old-timer to another! xoxo

  4. Skating with you and being coached by you in all the capacities has been something I've always hoped for. I've learned more from you in the past several months than I have since I started playing. Getting to know and live with you was icing on the cake. I've never met anyone quite like you- nor do I think anyone will be able to make an impression on me like you have. You've opened my eyes up to so many new things and I can only hope to become half of the amazing dreamer and woman you are. I hope all your dreams come true- how much you believe really makes me think they will!! You deserve it, love. xoxo- glorious hair :)

  5. it was a great honor to announce your name over the last 8 years - I tagged you "The Immortal Bommie D. Stroir" because your derby spirit will always live on!

  6. I am honored knowing that I have experienced every one of those five things with you in my roller derby career. I can't imagine where I would be now in roller derby without your influence. Physically present or apart, you are always apart of the athlete within myself. Thank you doesn't do justice to my gratitude towards what you have done for so many people, definitely including myself. I know you will continue doing great things after this 10 year stint of eating the most awesomest cake ever and that pushes me to keep doing great things, too. <3

  7. This is gonna sound cheesy, but I sort of see you as my Derby Godmother (like the fairy ones).
    You seem to always come out with advice/audio seminars/videos right when I need them the most. This is coming at me right as I am having some serious contemplation's about the whole Alpha-deal in derby.
    Even if we've never met you have helped me and meant a lot for me, and I've caught as many glimpses of you playing as I could. For me you'll be remembered as my inspiration and role model!
    I now don a big smile even when drama hits me, and I focus on the positives and my own personal goals. You taught me that!

  8. Morning I think,

    You guys are behind in the states right? It's afternoon-ish here in the UK. I'm not a skater and I came across one of of your quotes here: . I used to work with one of the girls hence I inevitably fell for the sport! It's point 1) in this post.

    It really got me thinking so I inevitably ended up writing a whole 1500 or so words centred around it. I then proceeded to accidentally delete the whole thing and have had to rewrite it! If you're having a sleepless night my stuffs the best :D

  9. ICONIC!! this post gave me the chills. You inspired many of us. Hope life is good for you.

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